Well, I haven't posted a thing in quite some time, I have been too busy to even find any time to get online lately....I am extremely happy to report that I have totally gotten rid of the married varmit.
He is finally leaving me the hell alone which has made me happier than words can say, my heart is totally healed on that note but now I have a new heaviness to my heart because my very best friend in the world was just diagnosed with Breast Cancer in both of her breasts. It is so sad, and so scary. She has a 7 year old son and he is adopted so it scares me that she may not be around to watch him grow up but we are trying as well as we can to keep a positive outlook.
She already has a congenital heart condition so it is so unfair that he also has to carry the breast cancer torch.....

Prayers can be sent her way, her name is Cindy if you are at all interested.

thank you

My son just went back to San Diego for more training and sure enough the "married guy" comes creeping back into my life 4 days after my son left. My son knows that he is married and all about it so of course the dumb shit couldn't come around when my son was around. I should have known. I like a dummy accepted the invitation to go out and have a few drinks with him which ended up being a very unpleasant evening with me freaking out on him like I should have done a long time ago by the end of the night...then what does he do but show up at my job two days after that and then at my house last night.

I thought I was doing better as far as getting him out of my life but he's back. I guess I will just have to strap on the balls and take control of my life.

It's always hard for me to ignore people and end relationships even when they are bad. I hope I don't have to end up getting a restraining order and going that route but I will if he doesn't leave me alone.

I guess I can always hold the possibility of going to his wife and telling her all if he keeps this up....who knows, it is just really pissing me off though.

Any ideas???

I am so new to this.

How do you all make your blogs so amazing with backgrounds and other things? Do I need to upload from somewhere or is there settings on this site?

Thanks!

My sadness is just being magnified because my oldest son who I am and always have been extremely proud of just left home the begining of May, he joined the United States Marine Corp. I got to see him for the first time on July 27th when I went to San Diego so watch him graduate. He is home now on leave and while it is wonderful to see him I am saddened by the fact that he will soon leave again (August 22) and I really don't know when I will get to see him again. At least when he left the last time I knew that I would see him when I went out to graduation.

Like I put on my last post I am so trying not to dwell on the negative, I have always been a "glass half full" type of person but right now I am just going through a rough time so I guess I need to just give myself some time to mourn the loss of a relationship and the loss of having my son at home and then get on with it and get over it.

I guess time heals all wounds...that is for sure, I have gotten over things in the past so I am sure this too shall pass and I will be fine. I just wish I would hurry up and get there. I am so used to being happy and cheerful and while everyone thinks I still am I am just crumbling inside.

When a person drowns himself in negative thinking he is committing an unspeakable crime against himself.
-- Maxwell Maltz

Negative thoughts can rule our lives as compulsively as an addiction. The feelings of power we get from holding a dismal and gloomy outlook deprive us of the positive and pleasant parts of life. Some of us have said, "If I expect the worst, I won't be disappointed. If I think the worst about myself, no one else can cut me down." It is like taking a driving trip and looking only for trash and garbage in the ditches, ignoring the beauty beyond. Indeed, what we see may be real, but it is a very limited piece of the picture.